And that is OK.
If there’s anything I have learned is that things will fall apart and generally not work out more often than you’d like. Anyone who says otherwise is lying. Sorry, but that’s the truth.
This is something very hard to accept if you’re like me and have a tendency to plan and overthink things to exhaustion.
The important thing here is that you’ll learn you’re a survivor. You’ll develop abilities to adapt whenever life throws you a curved ball, and now and then you’ll even see that some things fell apart only so some stuff you had not planned for, and that was much better, could fall together.
I’m not generally a super optimistic person, but this is something even I have come to realise.
It is OK not to be OK.
You will have bad periods. Be it because your depression or anxiety takes over (believe me, I know), or because life plain sucks and you can’t seem to catch a break.
It’s OK to cry and break down.
As long as you give yourself a time limit.
What does that mean, you ask? You can decide to give yourself a day, a week (hell, even a month!) to break down and wallow in your tears and despair, but you must eventually pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep going.
You have your own pace. Allow yourself the freedom to do your thing in your own time. Don’t let others pressure you directly or indirectly into doing more than you’re prepared or willing to do.
If you need some time to decompress and just watch Netflix while eating Ben & Jerry’s, do it without the guilt of looking out the sunny window and feeling you’re wasting a perfectly good day. You are not.
As John Lennon said, time you enjoyed wasting was not wasted. Give yourself the time you need, for whatever you need it.
We are all having our own battles and fighting our own demons and most do not show it to the world, but that doesn’t mean it’s not happening internally.
In this time of social media and always-updated Instagram feeds, it’s easy to look at the mirror and be disappointed by what you see when compared to the HIGHLY curated lives your acquaintances are broadcasting to the world. Remember Instagram is not real life and no one has it as good as they want the world to believe (and even if they did, you really shouldn’t care).
Be kind to yourself.
This one is hard for me, and I’m sure, for many others.
I am my worst own critic and it’s hard to keep the dark cloud of doubt away, but I’m trying my hardest and you should, too. Let’s say this is still a work-in-progress even as my 20s come to a closure.
…but isn’t that what life is at the end? A constant work in progress? I certainly think so.
Remember you’re doing the best you can. (And that is really all that matters.)
This post is part of a series where I’ll be reflecting on what I’ve learned in my 20s. You can read the intro here.